Cuba: Halliburton’s Hallucinations
The US State Department is happy to announce that its stellar corporation, Halliburton, has been awarded a 300 billion dollar contract to rebuild Cuba just as it was before the 1959 revolution that took it out of the fold of the Monroe doctrine.
Cuba Transition Coordinator Caleb McCarry made the announcement after the Pentagon verified that the last pocket of Cuban patriots was annihilated in a repeat of the Spanish conquest of the indigenous natives. Approximately 11 million insurgents were killed in the prolonged battle for democracy.
McCarry said he is bullish about the island and has authorized the “community” in Miami to draw up plans for a new Havana and Varadero vacationland. A delegation of 80-year-old exiles and their children are expected to visit their old homeland as soon as the chemicals used in the mop up effort have dissipated. Environmental critics say this could take 500 years but Gen. Paul Bremmer says by the time hurricane season is over the toxic dust will have settled or blown elsewhere.
Since sugar is no longer a big profit commodity and in order to boost the local economy, the White House is planning to open the gates of its Guantanamo Naval Base and extend its offshore prison to the central and eastern provinces of the island. It is estimated that several hundred thousand prisoners could be held captive under Abu Ghraib conditions, without charges or lawyers.
Freedom House experts believe contracts worth 100 billion dollars could be awarded in the first 3 years for prison construction and that some 20,000 jail keepers and administrative personnel could be brought in.
Meanwhile, the Bush administration’s Commission for Assistance to a Free Cuba will begin to implement the social programs it proposed to create a prosperous democracy for the island’s residents. At first, the commission notes, the only people around to be vaccinated would be the prisoners at Guantanamo, but officials believe that service personnel could be imported from other Latin American democracies to serve the island’s new owners. These, would get the schools, hospitals and jobs promised to the now deceased Cubans who foolishly refused to accept the generous US aid.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told reporters at a Washington press conference that the world is now a safer place without the troublesome Cubans and that the demise of the island’s leaders (although they were never found) marks the beginning of a new era for the Western Hemisphere. The top US diplomat said once Cuba is repopulated a new president would be selected in free and fair elections.
For his part, Halliburton’s man in the White House, Vice-president Dick Cheney, said the emblematic corporation he represents plans to contract out a portion of the reconstruction work to companies from nations that supported the war. He recalled President Bush’s statement that in the war against terrorism “all the spoils go to the winners.”
PS: In our next instalment, Voice of the Americas will bring its readers the story of ants that eat whales and turtles that run in marathons.